Month: December 2021

You're not just your stories -
your trials, your tribulations.
You're not just the last word
uttered in anger and disbelief.
You're not just the dust from
your last fall.
You're the whisper in the trees'
leaves blown by the 
gentle breeze.
You're the shoreline washed 
over by the sea foam wave.
You're the mountain and the
mountaintop.
The buzzing of the bees' wings
gathering pollen from the 
nectar of the garden's blessings.
You are the sun rays 
breaking through the clouds
as the angels sing.
The lotus flower floating slowly
 through the muddy pond 
as if you aren't even moving.
You are everything the world
told you you weren't;
You are capable of all the power and the
gentleness of nature wielding
a force of beauty.

You left.
I begged you to stay.
You left.
My heart shattered, I struggled,
I wailed on the kitchen floor.
In the midst of it all
 I stopped begging and let go instead.
On the other side of this darkness
that showed up as grief, abandonment, 
betrayal, anger and hatred,
I found the truth that I had heard 
at the park that day I questioned 
our dysfunctional relationship -
Angels spoke to me and said, 
"She is not the one."
I wanted you to be the one so
 I ignored this loud message
and begged instead.
It wasn't you though afterall that I was seeking;
It wasn't another soulmate either.
It was me I was looking for -
The me under the intense negative emotions of Earth 
that were past, present and future lives combined.
The intensity of being an empath and 
seeing the sadness behind the smile; 
hearing the struggle under the I'm fine;
     feeling the underneath of the optics.
I felt all of it as my heart broke wide open -
Wide open to more love and all that is love.
The one I was seeking was me -
The part of me that needs nothing and has everything.

The diamonds in the grass sparkled;
The light had hit the fresh rain at an angle that
only Mother Nature could create.
I pictured magical fairies on 
every spot smiling with big dimples
and pearly white teeth,
Or maybe it was the Earth flipped
upside down and what I was really seeing
were stars;
Maybe the stars fell in the grass
to remind me that we are made of stardust,
the infinite universe in each and every cell
Possibilities pulsating from 
every heartbeat, every run 
of blood through my veins, every breath,
every thought;
Possibilities pulsating
Telling me, whispering to me -
"I am here, I am here, I am here with you."
I choose to see the Divine in all of it;
In all of the little, in all of the big,
in each and every diamond sparkling in my grass,
Twinkling at me saying
"Yes, you, you, you, We are in love with you."
The love affair has always been
One that I was created from and just am
This spectacular light of infinite unconditional love.