I came upon the glory of an unfinished tale; It spoke so loud I whipped around to see who was there, It laid open to the page, Beckoning me to finish it, To add the decor, The last little bits, To savor it once more. I breathed in deep; Sat down and recorded the moments left unbroken, The times I remembered who I was before my heart broke wide open, The me beneath it all. My wings filled the room, spread their glory and sang sweet rememberings as I soared right out the door to be that girl, that woman who was born to be just that.
A Love So Big
I used to think I loved you when I worried incessantly or when I tried to shield you from any harm or when I thought and told you that was impossible. I wanted to keep you small because I felt small. Now I know you are protected by a force greater than my worries and fears; You are guided in the unknown and there is a net called grace to catch you when you run off the cliff and extend your wings so you can explore and live beyond your comfort zone. You are enfolded with Divine love and enveloped with Divine light; You are an infinite possibility in a universe of infinite possibilities; You are meant to live big and live bold and stretch past what ancestors have known or been told; Stretch past the human limits into Divine potential. Angels are everywhere whispering, "Jump...I got you."
Live Big, Live Bold
Inspired by words I read; Words I wrote and don't seem to remember, These words were written from the infinite part that knows she is always connected; The part that never believed the lies of smallness and abandonment; The part that can see the world from the bird's eye view, Remembering how expansive and wonderful it already is. Like being in nature and looking at the sky; Watching the horizon of an ocean that never ends; or tilting back to see the mountaintop; Humbled by it all; Knowing all of that is within me; Within all of us; Begging to climb out and show the world the true power of humanity.
You Are
You're not just your stories - your trials, your tribulations. You're not just the last word uttered in anger and disbelief. You're not just the dust from your last fall. You're the whisper in the trees' leaves blown by the gentle breeze. You're the shoreline washed over by the sea foam wave. You're the mountain and the mountaintop. The buzzing of the bees' wings gathering pollen from the nectar of the garden's blessings. You are the sun rays breaking through the clouds as the angels sing. The lotus flower floating slowly through the muddy pond as if you aren't even moving. You are everything the world told you you weren't; You are capable of all the power and the gentleness of nature wielding a force of beauty.
Heart Wide Open
You left. I begged you to stay. You left. My heart shattered, I struggled, I wailed on the kitchen floor. In the midst of it all I stopped begging and let go instead. On the other side of this darkness that showed up as grief, abandonment, betrayal, anger and hatred, I found the truth that I had heard at the park that day I questioned our dysfunctional relationship - Angels spoke to me and said, "She is not the one." I wanted you to be the one so I ignored this loud message and begged instead. It wasn't you though afterall that I was seeking; It wasn't another soulmate either. It was me I was looking for - The me under the intense negative emotions of Earth that were past, present and future lives combined. The intensity of being an empath and seeing the sadness behind the smile; hearing the struggle under the I'm fine; feeling the underneath of the optics. I felt all of it as my heart broke wide open - Wide open to more love and all that is love. The one I was seeking was me - The part of me that needs nothing and has everything.
Diamonds in the Grass
The diamonds in the grass sparkled; The light had hit the fresh rain at an angle that only Mother Nature could create. I pictured magical fairies on every spot smiling with big dimples and pearly white teeth, Or maybe it was the Earth flipped upside down and what I was really seeing were stars; Maybe the stars fell in the grass to remind me that we are made of stardust, the infinite universe in each and every cell Possibilities pulsating from every heartbeat, every run of blood through my veins, every breath, every thought; Possibilities pulsating Telling me, whispering to me - "I am here, I am here, I am here with you." I choose to see the Divine in all of it; In all of the little, in all of the big, in each and every diamond sparkling in my grass, Twinkling at me saying "Yes, you, you, you, We are in love with you." The love affair has always been One that I was created from and just am This spectacular light of infinite unconditional love.
Brilliance
Brilliance - the shiny stuff stars are made of. Brilliance - an unachievable intelligence for the select few. Brilliance - can't quite get to you - until I did... When I did, I realized she had been here all along waiting patiently as the light had. Waiting for me to claim her, Waiting for me to discover her, Waiting for me to uncover her, Claiming not only my own brilliance, but claiming all the goodness - All that was gifted to me for no particular reason - Just because I am me. I am love, I am light, I am peace. I am inspiration rolled in creativity, Married to amazement, wonder, and glory; Enfolded with grace spilling from my essence; Brilliance, I am thee.
Lost and Found
I got lost for a million years, Sucked into a darkness that enveloped my skin and the very air I breathed. It held me underwater and pretended to be my friend, Soothing me with more sickness, Layering on more fear until I thought we had become one. We moved as this sick unit until a piece broke off and I saw there was another way, I held my breath as I stared into this empty space of light. I listened as the angels told me it was time to go. It was my first knowing, My first moment when my body resonated with this truth and I knew there was no turning back. I was lost in a black abyss that only light could find. Only light could wait patiently for me to turn around, Once I did they all rushed in and guided me out of a self-made hell. A hell I thought I was born in or one that had been created as a punishment for not doing or being enough. More lies that I had created that kept me stagnant, Kept me biting off a less than average life in a world of mediocrity. My heart told me there was something more to be found. An inner force called love pulled me up and pushed me out the door, To find something better; to know something better And so I did. I found the light within and without.
The Twist of My Path – The Twist of My Story
As I wandered down the path Back to the car To drive back home I decided the love from the moon; The love from the stars; The love from the trees; The love from the grass; The love from my ancestors; The love from my family; The love from my extended family; The love from my friends - All of this is big. And what if my cup already runneth over? What if when she comes it's more about the partnership than the love? Because after all the love is already here. Pouring out from everything, everyone, and every situation It's already here. From all the kids I taught; All the teachers I inspired; And the ones who inspired me; All of nature, family, friends, and Divine Love herself. How can I yearn for something that already exists? That is already here. In full fashion, Shining its glory Waiting for me to receive it What if all along I already had everything I was seeking? It was all here dormant because I looked past it, beyond it, or through it and not at it? What if the story I had been telling myself was a sucky, sad one of lies? What if the truth is I am loved, loving, lovable, and pure love? Just because that is my true core and the means of my existence. The funny twist of the path paralleled the twist of my story. I breathed in deep, Let go and said, "It's all enough already and now I can sleep a beautiful sleep knowing I finished - Knowing I am whole and complete already."
The Treasure Chest
When she fell she learned her strength In getting up and facing it all, When she was abandoned she learned She was never really alone, When she was insulted she learned She already held validation, When she reached out and the hand withdrew She learned to call on a source greater than herself, When she loved, she loved big, With all her heart, with all her being. For she learned she had an endless supply, Her innermost core was love. She smiled, she beamed, and she knew She would suffer no more. She found it all inside herself. Not in a friendship, Not in a romance, Not in things, Everything she ever desired. A treasure chest that had been forgotten, Was now fully open, accessible and an Abundant source of all goodness. This blessed her. This blessed all around her, This circulated goodness beyond her imagination, The Earth beamed, adjusted her tune, and rotated a little bit easier.